marylittlegoth

From the BBC website, Clive James on plastic surgery:

There is a person called Pete Burns who went on Channel 4's Big Brother and got famous for being a forgotten rock singer. He got additionally famous for being a forgotten rock singer who'd had something unforgettable done to his mouth.

He'd had that thing done that people who want new mouths do. They don't want new mouths in the sense of a mouth like the old mouth, only young again. They want a new mouth in the sense of a different mouth, a mouth that has been seen nowhere on earth except below sea level.

Apparently the idea is that the top lip should be at least as big as the bottom lip, and the result, even done in moderation, always looks as if the original mouth has been removed, inflated like a small plastic paddling pool, and put back on upside down.

Pete Burns had the advanced version. I switched Big Brother on accidentally one night and there he was, so I switched it off immediately, but not before having my retinas seared with the image of one of those car-sized fish that lurk deep below the reef, waiting to ingest the brass boot of a deep sea diver.

Laugh? I nearly wet myself!

Whole article here